Guilty Pleazzzurs

2 Mar

Ok, stay with me here, this is a turn down a dirrrty alley where the highs are high and the hangover is sugar induced. No self-respecting rocker can like, nay dance uncontrollably, to these songs, but things happen in da club or when you are alone in your car and only the people on the freeway can smirk at your lip synching. Hypothetically speaking of course. Guilty Pleazzzurs….do I mean pleasure or pleasers? You decide.

  1. Icona Pop “I Love It” – this is what pop should be. Driving, yelling, and primarily Scandinavian. I love girls singing about crashing cars and screaming “I’m a 90’s bitch” even though they were probably 3 years old in the 90s.
  2. Will I Am “Scream and Shout” – is there anything better than a faux East German accent? Almost makes up for a pleasantly plump Britney and my hatred for Will I Am. I refuse to acknowledge him as, despite my begrudging respect for his shameless ability to exploit terrible pop songs to obtain great personal wealth. I hope all the money is going to help East German children whose parents didn’t make it as East German voice actors.
  3. Sisco “Thong Song” – I now shall make an academic argument that this song is ground zero for every popsong bottle that has blown up and fizzed out in the New Millenium: catchy, provocative, sexy, funny, and honest, what every pop songs strives to be. And this is what guys talk about. At least sometimes. Dumps like a truck indeed. The classicist violin and overwrought soul singing slays me every time.
  4. Mackelmore and Ryan Lewis “Thrift Shop” – already 4 months old and likely to soon be relegated to the land of forgotten and used up, like any club dancer past 30 and every pop song in the history of pop songs. That’s why I like rock, it’s timeless. Anyways, I digress – this video is fanatastic and Mackelmore gets extra props for bringing in a Nate Dogg esque singer for the chorus (sorely missed in hip hop), paying homage to the Wire (“Sheeeeit!”),  and making fun of anyone who buys a $50 t-shirt. It had to be said.
  5. Kelly Clarkson “Since You Been Gone” this is probably my favorite pop song of all time. The guitar riff, the voice, the kick-in, all brilliant. But I wish whoever wrote it would have let The Strokes or The Yeah Yeah Yeahs sing it first before selling their soul to a record label so that Kelly Clarkson could become a pop queen.
  6. Lady Gaga “Alejandro” – may this song be in your head all day. Abba on Steriods. Gawd, the shamPain is hitting me now.
  7. Two Bears “Warm and Easy” mmm yeah. Leave your war time ambitions at the door. At least that’s what I think he said, I’m really drunk right now and someone just touched my bum.
  8. Britney Spears “Toxic” – More Britney, bitch. What did you think this playlist was about?? A high point in her oeuvre if you ask me, whoever wrote it and played the computer instruments did a good job. Yes, that’s snarkasm. She really should have been a Bond villain instead of an x-factor judge.
  9. Beck “Milk and Honey” what is that? A guitar riff? Sounds….foreign. The break down starting at 1:49 is one of my favorite moments in music. God bless Beck and his Midnite Vultures, criminally underrated. Probably deserves an Unsung. Don’t worry, I’m on it.
  10. Fallon, Crosby, and Nash  “Party in the USA” – feeeeufph, we almost got lost in that pop purgatory. Time to bring it back to the classics and this perfect cover of Miley Cyrus or Alaska Nebraska or whatever she is. Just goes to show you that a perfect pop song can become golden and timeless in the right hands. Long live pop.

One Response to “Guilty Pleazzzurs”


  1. The first (and last) time Unsung will ever post a Taylor Swift song | UnsungPresents - October 10, 2014

    […] cuz its Friday and I am sometimes enjoy guilty pop pleasures, here is her new single […]

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